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Yet Another Let's Read of Homestuck

or: coercion is bad, kids
Apr 24 '12
What it means is, “Shipping is stupid.”
“Here’s why.”
“Often times authors will write two people who are interested in each other in a completely non-romantic way.  No, I say exactly what I mean.  Just because these two people hang out with each other, it doesn’t mean that they’re actually romantically involved.  Other times, romance is simply unrequited.  Yet, because everyone seems to have shipping goggles glued to their stupid fucking faces, people who are not actually romantically involved and are CLEARLY NOT INTENDED TO BE ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED ARE PUT IN RELATIONSHIPS IN FAN DISCUSSION, ART, AND FICTION.”
“To solve this problem, Hussie has decided to create three other categories of relationship that do not actually constitute a mutually-respectful, loving relationship.  He has shoved all of his troll characters into some type of these three relationships.  He has made epileptic flash animation charts of these relationships.  AND NONE OF IT MEANS A SINGLE FUCKING THING!”
“Here’s why.”
“If you function on a normal social level, you don’t actually need to have names for every specific type of relationship people can have.  Furthermore, you recognize that these relationships don’t constitute romantic love.  Hussie, however, has completely unnecessarily named and categorized them.  The categorization is MEANINGLESS.  It has NO SIGNIFICANCE.”
“The only reason it has significance is so you can take a relationship that’s not the red heart, violate established character traits, shift it to the red heart, and then draw porn.”

What it means is, “Shipping is stupid.”

“Here’s why.”

“Often times authors will write two people who are interested in each other in a completely non-romantic way.  No, I say exactly what I mean.  Just because these two people hang out with each other, it doesn’t mean that they’re actually romantically involved.  Other times, romance is simply unrequited.  Yet, because everyone seems to have shipping goggles glued to their stupid fucking faces, people who are not actually romantically involved and are CLEARLY NOT INTENDED TO BE ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED ARE PUT IN RELATIONSHIPS IN FAN DISCUSSION, ART, AND FICTION.”

“To solve this problem, Hussie has decided to create three other categories of relationship that do not actually constitute a mutually-respectful, loving relationship.  He has shoved all of his troll characters into some type of these three relationships.  He has made epileptic flash animation charts of these relationships.  AND NONE OF IT MEANS A SINGLE FUCKING THING!”

“Here’s why.”

“If you function on a normal social level, you don’t actually need to have names for every specific type of relationship people can have.  Furthermore, you recognize that these relationships don’t constitute romantic love.  Hussie, however, has completely unnecessarily named and categorized them.  The categorization is MEANINGLESS.  It has NO SIGNIFICANCE.”

“The only reason it has significance is so you can take a relationship that’s not the red heart, violate established character traits, shift it to the red heart, and then draw porn.”